The Road

Today the conversation paused on the concept of the road we travel on. 
The questions asked were:
Do you walk the middle of the road?
Do you walk hugging the mountain side?
Do you see how close to the edge you can walk without falling down the cliff?
Have you jumped off the road and are seeking to find out how deep the ravine is?
Are you at the bottom of the ravine looking up?
Later in the day more thoughts came to mind.....
Are you at the bottom of the ravine too embarrassed or prideful to look up and get help?
Are you on the edge of the road mocking those who have fallen off or are you pointing to ways to come back to the road with words of encouragement and love?
Have you traveled too close to the edge, fallen off, and now have trouble trusting yourself or your footing?
Do you hold fast to the iron rod, encouraging others to do the same?
Are you banged up and bruised?  Are you happy?
Just a few thoughts....where am I?

The Gray of Dawn

This morning I parked my car away from the rising sun

 as I was waiting for Ben, who was attending Seminary. 

 I love the rising sun, the changing colors, the introduction of light.

  Today though I noticed something different. 

Facing away from the sun the world is just gray. 

 Not the pretty gray I love, but a hazy brown gray.

  As more light is introduced it the atmosphere stays gray, it just becomes clearer.

I have been reading about Jesus Christ and the light that he offers us.

  There is that power that comes from him that gives us our life,

 makes our hearts beat, enables us to function in this world on a physical basis.

  There is his light that we seek,

 to enlarge our understanding,

 heal our hearts and minds,

 and draw us closer to him.

  There is his light that fills the universe,

  governing the stars, planets and seasons.

So on pondering the light, if we turn our back on the light of Jesus Christ

 does it change our perspective to this hazy gray?

 Would it diminish our hope, charity and faith in the good in this world? 

 I already know that watching the sunrise some how renews my spirit.

  It brings me enjoyment to see all the different colors and hues that light can introduce to this world. 

 I know that my trust in the light of Jesus Christ brings me healing, hope,
 and the desire to be charitable. 

 I know that it enlarges my abilities to see the world in a much kinder light.

  My faith in him brings me joy.

Phart In The Heart

Sometimes there are just holes in your heart.
Yesterday I prayed about one that I just could not fix.
Then Mikie came home and sang me a silly song
all about a phart in his heart and filled it.
I love him :)

The Man Who Farms Water

I just finished reading Volume 1 of Rain Water Harvesting for Dry lands and Beyond.  It tells about Zephaniah Phiri Maseko, who lived in Zimbabwe's driest region.  It is very similar to southern Arizona, lots of rocks, dry grass and very few trees.  In 1964 he was fired from his job on the railway for his political views.  The government said he would never work again.  He turned to the only things he had to support his family of eight, an over grazed, eroding piece of land and the Bible.  Over 30 years he developed many rain harvesting systems and now it provides all the water his family needs.  Mr Maseko teaches abundance and generosity.  He does not seek to keep all the water to himself but to use it and return it to the ground where it can be shared with all. He uses the soil as one of his catchment tanks.  He explains, "These wells are those of an unselfish man.  The water comes and goes as it pleases, for you see, in my land it is everywhere."  His efforts have come to the attention of the national organization CARE and they have started teaching his methods to others and importing less water and food supplies.  He started a organization called the Zvishavane Water Resources Project.  He is joyful when he sees his neighbors making changes to better their land, their lives and the lives of those around them.  You might think that his farm is vast but it only 7 acres.
I, like him believe that God created a world in which there is enough.  That we should be fruitful and multiply and be good stewards over the land and animals, not the other way around.  He believes that the earth is a garden of Eden where he states, "Remember, children are our flowers: give them rain and they will grow and bloom."
I love the rain.  Michael and I are looking into catching some of the rain that falls on our roof and reusing it before returning it to the ground.  I can hardly wait for Volume 2 to be returned to the library for further study.

Lessons from the apple trees

When we first moved into this area, we found the Bucklers and became friends.  Kami is amazing.  She had apple trees, flourishing garden and a huge strawberry patch, all growing outside their mobile home in this dry parched soil.  She gave me hope.  I had been killing and then pulling various trees off of our property and nothing seemed to grow for me but weeds and pine trees.  I asked her lots of questions and then Michael and I set out to purchase apple trees.

Her advice was sound.  We planted on the east side of the house.  That way when there is snow on the Superstition Mountains and the wind rushes down it offers enough chill hours.  We pointed the little graft stub on the bottom to the east also and made sure it was above the soil level.  We've watered and tended to them for a few years now.  There were a few lessons along the way though that I have pondered and compared to being a parent.

Apple trees are like children in that they learn and are influenced when they are calm and relaxed.  Apple branches should be pruned in December or January when the tree is most dormant.

Making all their choices for them limits their confidence in making choices on their own. In the beginning this little tree tended to lean towards the house so I staked it and put a small string on it, unfortunately I left it on too long and now the tree leans slightly to the street.

Surrounding them with uplifting music, pictures, conversation, encouragement, and love helps them to reach for more light.  Trim the tree so that the branches are growing up, and that light and air can circulate freely.

Keeping things simple and staying away from do as I say, not as I do keeps their thoughts about what could be a good choice or a bad one from being criss crossed.  Remove any dead branches or branches that cross.

Saying no just because the spirit tells you to, not because you have a justifiable reason can be very uncomfortable.  Prune the tree a little more than you are comfortable with.

Stepping back and looking at the whole person, 

not just as your child, but as a child of God and their surroundings can help you better understand. 

Step back and look at the tree from all angles to find the best shape.

 

I have been parenting for 33 years and pruning apple trees for about 8.  My heart has grown, been broken, repaired, and has grown some more.  I am definitely not the best parent.  I have learned to forgive myself and my children.  I have learned to trust the Holy Ghost and follow his promptings better.  I have learned to love and appreciate my own parents and grandparents more and more.  I still make mistakes, but most of all these experiences and relationships have taught me how to love more and better.  I still have a long way to go. 

Genes, enviroment, or just the will to choose?

At first when I saw this I thought the children were pulling out the lettuce.  After looking closer I realized that I had spilled some of the seed outside of the bucket.  This is a small sample of my experimental garden.  The ground this bucket sets on is hard like rock,  even weeds find it hard to grow here.  The bucket is to keep the rabbits from eating what I want to save for myself. 

I like to watch people, read, and contemplate where I am in the scheme of things.  I've seen pictures of trees growing out of the side of rocky cliffs. I've read about war refuges who use their will  to enable their minds and heart to find peace and comfort.   I've known people who make good choices in bad circumstances ,turn to their Heavenly Father and are strengthened.  My reading lately has brought me to ponder on the instant between when something happens to us and when we decide our response.  Do I do what first pops into my head or stop, look for options and consider consequences before acting.  When I was a teenager, teachers at church taught that we should contemplate situations we might find ourselves in and choose our reaction before hand.  I did find this to be helpful when the  time came to make a choice.  When I'm emotional I don't always take long enough to think about options or their consequences. 

Back to the seeds.  I'm sure some of the seeds spilled continue sleeping.  Then there are the few pictured here that chose to take what little was offered in soil, water and sun shine and grow as much as possible.  They are not as large as the plants in the buckets, but they are just a beautiful. 

Independent vs Interdependent

During my reading I have found in myself a certain amount of fear.  I seem to have always been seeking to be independent, physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.  In growing up I think we all seek these same things so we can set out on our journey away from our childhood homes.  There I was dependent for everything until learning skills to be out and about.

I sometimes view interdependence as a step back to allowing others to control, define, use or manipulate me.  I had to reread a statement that was very similar to this several times.  I recognized in it my fear of losing the independence I have gained.  It goes on to explain that to be truly interdependent we must be a mature independent person, knowing when to say no, how to listen and understand others, and not be threatened by the changes that happen when we interact and influence each other. I see in myself the need to have control. I  see the need to seek balance for control and interdependence.  Steven Covey states that when good interdependence happens success can be multiplied instead of just added upon.  It's a lot to roll around in my head.  Maybe I'll just let it ferment in my brain a few days.

What Am I?

I believe that what you do speaks louder than what you say.  I also believe that before someone can really hear what you have to say, that you need to have heard and sincerely wanted to listen to what they have to say. Taking this a step further, does what you are, your character, speak louder than your actions?  There is a maxim that goes, "Sow  a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny,"

I finished reading "The Seven Habits of Effective Teens"  written by the son, and have started reading "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" this one written by the father, Steven Covey.  This one is definitely a little more to the point.  So far I'm only on the second chapter.  It covers being dependent, independent, and interdependent.  It points out that the development of character is shaped by the habits that we choose to implement in our lives.  It also points out that not making the effort to form  better habits, could be just choosing  less desirable habits.

In belonging to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we are taught to love our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ with all our hearts, obey and live the commandments, listen to the whisperings of the Holy Ghost, seek to love and serve those around us, and to develop talents and skills to become the best we can be.  All of these develop character. All of these become habits and I guess when they become easy to do, they are who we are.  The goal is to become a true disciple of Jesus Christ.

Nimrod

The past few months I've been studying the old testament. I came across Nimrod, grand son of Ham, great grand son of Noah.  You know, the one with the ark.  Well he wanted to persuade men not to believe in Christ or of God.  He also wanted to convince men that happiness was not found by keeping the commandments but by men's own courage.  He established his own cities and changed the government to one that produced an atmosphere where the people were brought under constant dependence on the government for everything.  Doing this he set himself up as their hero, or savior.  He was the one that instituted the building of the tower of Babel.  "Now the multitude were very ready to follow the determination of Nimrod, and to esteem it as a piece of cowardice to submit to God, and they built a tower, neither sparing any pains, nor being in any degree negligent about the work, and by  reason of the multitude of hands employed in it, it grew very high, sooner than anyone would expect, but the thickness of it was so great, and it was so strongly built, that thereby its great height seemed, upon the view, to be less than it really was.  It was built of burnt brick, cemented together with mortar, made of bitumen, that it might not be liable to admit water."

These things brought to mind where we are in this world today.  Are we living in a day when believing in God and Jesus Christ is thought of as a weakness?  Are we beginning to believe that we are not capable of caring for ourselves but that we should allow the government or laws to make more of our decisions?  Do we really believe that keeping the ten commandments leads to happiness or do we believe it restricts us? Are we humble enough to attribute all that we have as being a blessing from God or do we attribute it to the works of our hands?  Hopefully we stand firm in the belief in our Father In Heaven and in His son and that we are truly his children, capable of using our free agency to choose happiness.

Do our buildings reflect the general consensus?  During the 1800's churches were the largest buildings in a town, in the 1900's government buildings became the largest, and now towering over our government buildings are tall financial institutions.

Questions/Statements to Ponder

I've been reading Sean Covey's book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens".  In it he asks that they answer the following questions/statements.

1-Think of a person who made a positive difference in your life.  What qualities does that person have that you would like to develop?

2-Imagine 20 years from now, you are surrounded by the most important people in your life.  Who are they and what are you doing?

3-If a steel beam (6 inches wide) were placed across two skyscrapers, for what would you be willing to cross?  A Million dollars?  Your pet? Your brother? Fame? Think carefully....

4-If you could spend one day in a great library studying anything you wanted, what would you study?

5-List 10 things you love to do.  It could be singing, dancing, looking at magazines, drawing, reading, daydreaming, anything you absolutely love to do!

6-Describe a time when you were deeply inspired.

7-Five years from now, your local paper does a story about you and they want to interview three people, a parent, a brother or sister and a friend.  What would you want them to say about you?

8-Think of something that represents you... a rose, a song, an animal... Why does it represent you?

9-If you could spend an hour with any person who ever lived, who would that be?  Why that person? What would you ask?

10-Everyone has one or more talents.  Write down some of yours, being a good friend, making things happen, mechanical, accepting others, humorous, music, ect...

11-What are the three most important skills I need for my career?

12-Would I want to marry someone like me?

13-What is the key crossroad I am facing in my life right now?  In the long run, what is the best path to take?

14-Identify a negative label others may have given you.  Think up a few things you can do to change that label.

I filled out each of these questions/statements and discovered I was traveling on the path that I wanted to be on.  I only needed to tweak a few things to straighten out my path. Even at age 50 these were thought provoking, for me at least.

Rain

I love the rain!!!

It cleans the air.
It smells delicious.
The wind that normally comes with make sweet whispers in the pine trees around our home.
The soft pitter patter is comforting.
Lighting and thunder remind me of God, full of power and glory.
The flood that can come from the clouds is just amazing in it's fury.
Snow in its gentleness and pure whiteness is gorgeous.
Hail that sprinkles the ground is a wonder in its self.
The color of clouds is my favorite, especially with the light of the sun peaking through it.

Those Thoughts

Last Saturday Michael had a drive at PRI scheduled.  He was supposed to bring a certain piece of paper with him.  Over the course of the last few weeks he had this paper on the dresser in his closet, at work, in his car and in his office.

Well Saturday came and he could not find it.  I had been clearing piles of stuff away at a quicker pace than normal and I could just see that he thought I had thrown it out.  It became more and more frustrating for him.  Ben, Julia and I joined in the search.  After a few minutes I invited these two to kneel down in the living room and pray for the spirit to tell us where it was.

I went in my room to put on my shoes and socks.  As I was doing so the little thought came to me to look in a pile of paper I had not taken care of yet.  There it was.  I took it to Michael.  Then I invited the children to kneel with me again and thank Heavenly Father for the sweet spirit of the Holy Ghost.  He is amazing.

My Office

I'm finally admitting that maybe I might need an office for my various activities.  Filing, family history, photos, cd's, blog stuff, primary, bills and yes, email.  I had attempted to make a spot in Michael's office but he is into so many different activities he needs his own office.

At one time I had an area in the family room where I had most of my stuff.  Yesterday I decided to organize my primary stuff (Andy Kay emptied my large filing box into a large pile).  It forced me to look at how I was storing my stuff.  I spent the afternoon and my evening throwing out, refiling, and redefining my area.  This morning I moved both my computers and most of the family history back into this area.  I did have to child proof it somewhat to protect my library of records.

Now here I sit.  The computer is up and running, that in its self is a miracle. I have a comfortable chair.  I can see and access everything, and there was still room for chairs, tables and serving ware.  I might be a little more efficient, at least that is the hope.  D & C 88 states that we should be organized and that it invites the Spirit of the Holy Ghost. I sure could use more of his assistance.  We'll see what happens.

Planter Fasciitis

Last June I was in the mountains with Michael and the trailer.  He went to take a shower and while he was gone I finished hooking up the trailer.  Easy, everything is electric, no lifting involved.  Success, soon we were on our way home.  Michael drove.

When I went to step out of the truck I realized that I could hardly walk on my left foot.  Well I'm getting older and figured that during the hooking up of the trailer I must have pulled a muscle.  The last time I pulled a muscle it took 3 months to heal. ( I was pushing the refrigerator across the kitchen that time.)  I waited, babied it and still it stayed the same.  Sometimes I didn't notice it and other times all I wanted to do was to sit down.  During this time I kept having a thought to put a piece of 2 X 4 in the kitchen and stretch my calf every time I went through that room.  I ignored it.

Well at Little Philmont someone asked me if I was going to go on a hike while I was there.  Nope.  Then I explained about my foot.  Her husband went on to explain that something very similar had happened to him and that it was caused by the calf shortening and then pulling on the tendons in the foot.  Stretching was the answer he said.  Low and behold,  his advice is helping slowly but surely.  I should have listened to that thought about the 2 X 4.  You think I would know by now about those thoughts.

Finally Edible Cookies

Thank you Dawn!!!  I have many talents, one of which is making bread.  My cookie making skills have been rather sad though. 

Dawn on the other had makes the most delicious deserts.  By the way so do my other daughters, but Dawn's chocolate chip cookie skills are the ones that I have been envying.  After years of enjoying the fruits of her labors I may have finally mastered the skill.  She has a talent in this department,  I on the other hand have a skill.

I have added that little extra flour and finally stay right by the stove waiting until just the edges are just starting to brown.  If I go a step further and freeze them, my husband loves them.  Thank you, thank you.  I am learning so much from my children.  I thank Heavenly Father every day for each of them, and for my husband too!

Someday I am going to ask Chelsey to share her cheesecake secrets.

My Personal Paradigm

I've always had a strong attachment to a particular grandma.  I've often wondered why this particular one.  I've always known that she was the one who taught me that I was a princess.  I was never afraid to let her see the whole me, faults, sins, ect.  No matter what, she had a way of making me feel like I was alright just like I was.  This made me feel like I just wanted to be the best me ever.  I called her and no matter what the conversation she helped me feel better about myself.  She passed to the other side sometime ago.  I miss her. 

I've been reading one of Sean Covey's books, "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens".  In it he talks about the glasses we wear that give us our personal perception of ourselves and the world around us.  He states that most successful people will tell you that they had a person who believed in them, who nourished them, gave them advice, and would wipe your glasses clean, when you dirtied them with negativity.  I think that she was that person for me.

He attributes this thought to an unknown author, "If you could envision the type of person God intended you to be, you would rise up and never be the same again."  Sometimes I see a glimpse of the person I could be, and it always happens when I am serving someone unconditionally.  I thank him daily for the opportunity each day to be a better me.  I hope to someday make someone else find the prince or princess within.  Hopefully I can remember more on a daily basis that down inside I am still one myself.

Just a little weary.

It seems lately that I just seem to be dragging.  Dragging myself out of bed, dragging myself to the car, dragging myself to do housework, sew, play on the floor,  just dragging along.  As I'm dragging along I'm sorting what seems today like endless piles.  One of these piles was the one next to my bed where I tend to gather lots of varied reading material. 

I opened a magazine to sort through it.  My idea of sorting a magazine is to pull out the pages that I'm interested in and file them until needed.  It works for me and has helped me control my own personal paper mess.  This particular magazine had an article about being tired.  It listed these as the possible causes:  lack of exercise (I think I'm probably back above 10,000 steps a day),  needing a nap (took one and it is correct in stating that more than 20 minutes is worse than none at all),  stress ( is that ever an option?), winter darkness, (nope still wearing sunscreen every day because of car pool),  and this last one was something called boredout as compared to burnout.  "We know about burnout, from doing too much, but there's also 'boredout,' caused by doing too little.  The longer you're bored, the less energy you have and the more likely that this temporary feeling can become permanent." 

So am I just running too slow a circle or maybe I need a new circle.  I still strongly believe boredom is a choice made by the person who is bored.  I'd better get busy.

Food As Eye Candy

Peter Calahan wrote a book called bite by bite.  It is delicious, not only to the taste but to the eye.
He is a chef and party planner specializing in small food.  It is full of fun ideas, mini hot dogs, mini hamburgers, mac and cheese canapes, baked beans in bacon cups, and on and on.  I started reading it and decided that I may have to try a few of his creations. 

I have spent 36 months of my life throwing food up and it has been just a way to sustain my physical body.  Over the last five or so years though I have been taking more of an interest in making food have taste, and now I think I may be looking into making it pretty or cute.

On one of the more recent school breaks I treated the grand children to octopus (hot dogs) on see weed (green top ramin).  Sure enough they ate dinner and it was fun to play with the food.  There are so many ways to explore this world and enjoy each other's company.  Isn't life great?!!! 

Avacodo Tree

The first two years of my married life, we lived in Texas.  While there I managed to spout an avocado seed and it had become a small tree.  Then we decided to move ( the first week in February).  Everything was packed into a small u-haul and our two cars.  I had Dawn, her large stuffed lion and the avocado tree. 

The week we decide to move a large ice storm hit.  We traveled through the snow and ice.  We stopped to spend the night at a motel and the next morning the on ramp to the interstate was so slippery that Michael's car could not pull the u-haul up, so we had to hire a tow truck to get us to the top.  I held my breath that morning as I watched the u-haul slide sideways under every over pass where the ice had not melted.  We both drove in the tracks left by the semi trucks making our way back to Arizona.

Once past Dallas the roads got better and then finally we came to the Arizona border and the agriculture check stop. The man at the station asked if we had any plants or produce to declare.  I stated that I only had a little avocado tree.  He checked in the back of my car and all I had left was a stick.  He smiled and said that I could pass.  I guess a stick does not qualify as a plant.  In Texas it had froze, and then in New Mexico it had baked a little.

I have tried many times to sprout another and have not been successful till now.  There is a little seed in the window of my room with just the tiniest root.  A hope of things to come if I will just tend and guard it.  We will see.  Adventure sometimes comes with casualties, but love and tender care can repair most anything.

Does Effort Matter?

I have been traveling through Salt Lake City all of my life.  I have cousins that live in Utah and my mother and grandmother traveled there once or twice a year while I was growing up.  From the interstate you can see the Salt Lake Temple.  Growing up I always wanted to go inside.

Many times my family stopped at Temple Square to visit,  my favorite spot was sitting at the feet of the Christos in the visitors center.  For those who may read this who have not been there, it is on the second floor.  You can get there by climbing a long ramp with a mural of the universe surrounding you.  The feeling of being insignificant in a large universe is brought to mind.  Then you enter a room that is two stories high, with a wall of windows and the Christos.  It is a great place to ponder and be grateful for everything he has done for us.

After I had a temple recommend, the opportunity to visit Salt Lake happened.  I took my small children and visited temple square.   I had no place to leave them to attend the temple.  So I went back to my friend's house where we were staying and asked if she would mind if I got up and went to the 5:30 am session while my children slept the next morning.  

I left her home at 4:30 to make the drive from her house.  It was still dark when I entered the building.  It was magnificent.  I still remember the feeling of reverence that I felt that morning.  As I sat in the Celestial room and enjoyed the beauty of my surroundings, it seemed to me that the feeling was stronger because I had made the extra effort to be there so early.  Also that everyone else in the building had sacrificed to be there too.  Effort or Sacrifice does matter.  It invites the spirit to strengthen and lift you up.